“A long walk home”

A beautiful analogy described humanity in a way that resonated deeply. Soul, the passenger; mind, the driver; and body, the car. The mind starts off as a blank, transparent canvas for the soul, but over time material from the environment we are exposed to is piled on. This results in a conditioned mind and false idea of self. While living in a world of duality- pleasure and pain, light and dark, positive and negative, etc., we learn to hide parts of ourselves deemed unacceptable by society. We cover our essential unique characters and put on masks. Personalities we develop to help us adapt either as a form of protection and survival or just plain conformity. Liking things because we were told to, blindly following beliefs and opinions without question. We forget rules are just guidelines that ought to adapt to us as individuals. No person or system should be able to dictate who we choose to be and how we live our lives. Which is why shedding conditioning and digging deep to find what lays beneath is a necessary journey. One we must gather courage for as we may not like everything unearthed.

Facing and acknowledging every part of our shared human nature, the good and evil we are all capable of is a vital step to acceptance. Then only can we possibly give the same to others, for the very darkness we see in them is present in us. We are not our thoughts or emotions, so when they get dark remember to accept them. This does not in any way mean acting out but letting go and not dwelling on them. For what we continuously think of one day we become. To be a good human is simply to choose to do the right thing as much as possible. Being is realizing the divine within and living according to this true higher self who is inherently good. If the fruits of the spirit are peace, love, joy, kindness, patience, gentleness, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, grace, oneness, gratitude. It is safe to say the fruits of the ego are pride, fear, anxiety, anger, vengeance, control, envy, greed, separation, time.

In a human lifetime there are three homes to take care of: earth, body, and mind. Thus, my top priority after the awakening was to spring clean. To master anything in life it must be understood. So, in the continuous process of taming and building a healthy quiet mind I observed and noted. The nature of the mind is to think and while there is nothing wrong with that, overthinking and getting lost in imaginary story lines creates all sorts of problems. But the practice of presence, mindfulness, spaciousness, alert stillness throughout the day provides a higher perspective of things. Silence speaks and that’s where my clarity, insight, creativity, and more comes from. For years while trapped in a never-ending hurricane of thoughts, the only peace I had was sleep, the most effective escape from all the noise and pain. One of many versions of falling below thought, and this is where a lot of addiction comes from. It’s the escape that is craved, not the substance, for anything can be genuinely enjoyed or abused.

After a decade of darkness and healing, it is clear the me within is greater than the me in the world, yet one. Becoming self-aware on a human level revealed internal patterns that was vital to my emotional and mental growth. In a sense I found my place in the world. And while the sex, race and ethnicity of my form are honoured, there is no attachment. For underneath it all is me, soul, consciousness, being. This realization has been the game changer. A truly indescribable experience. A force that caused an infinite ripple effect. No longer in survival mode but thriving, rising above thought, cradled in the universe, and the presence. Trusting my Mary as much as my Eve. Integrating and finding the balance between the human and divine. In darkness was a taste of hell, but in light, heaven. The curtains are wide open, the sun is streaming in, it is the light at the end of the tunnel. Although an incredibly long walk, I found my way home.

“I’m like a shooting star, I’ve come so far, I can’t go back to where I used to be” – A whole new world.