“True love”

Love has a way of making one soft. It is all we have, need, and deep down all we want. But what really is this word we search for and sometimes find in relatives, friends, partners and even strangers. We know it is kind, forgiving, patient, persevering. Yet when we use this term to address ourselves and others, the behaviours hardly align with the true meaning. We mistake attachment for love, be it to a person or the idea of that person. Or we just love the things they do and provide for us. Other times our words and actions don’t match because we can only love to the extent in which we love ourselves. Treating oneself to spa days, dinners, vacations, etc., are all part of self-love. But even more so is the discipline to consume and do things that are good for the spirit, body, and mind. Staying true to what we want and saying no to everything else. Being gentle with ourselves. Trusting and listening to the quiet voice within, our souls.

True love is not self-seeking, controlling, oppressive, imposing, or harmful. It is recognizing our shared qualities and accepting the differences that make us unique. Seeing the good in everyone and not condemning the worst but extending grace as we do to ourselves. Remembering that though we are all one and interconnected, we have mistakes and discoveries to make on our independent paths. Realizing that one rule or system that insists on conformity cannot work amid diversity. We must give each other room to live, even when we lack understanding. We might learn from the unfamiliar ways of life encountered on the road. But only the vital information should be applied in a way that aligns with who we are and the path we walk. Nobody belongs to anyone, and it is essential we release any sort of attachment to the outcome of people’s lives, ours included. This universal level of acceptance regardless of appearances is a rare quality that comes from the soul.

Family is a special mix of individuals who continually choose to commit to us on a different level, blood or not. They support us and show up in ways not even relatives or friends can. Pour time and effort into our lives. Teach and encourage us to stand up for ourselves, to speak out, to be strong. Hold space for us to be. Want the best for us but trust us to make our own decisions. This is what we wish to receive, but more importantly what we must give. A back and forth that enables love to flow freely without concern of being taken advantage of. While we may assign love and care to all categories. There are even fewer humans we feel extra safe with, those we can take off the whole mask for because they keep accepting every part we have the courage to show. Persons who don’t love us out of duty, but like and respect who we are as individuals. My true love is “unconditional” love with depth. And having regular access to it is something to be grateful for. I found my first in an exquisite woman, a dear friend who happens to be kin and without a doubt the love of my life.